Who does she think she is?
I'm sorry I missed this film when it was at the Jacob Burns last month. Just reading about it, watching the trailer, browsing the site, makes my heart beat faster. The basic premise, that women who want to fulfill their own artistic passion have to do so at the peril of their being (or being seen as) sub-par mothers, is one that chills my blood.Because, artists or not, don't we all feel like this, to some degree? That constant scale inside that tips uneasily whenever we are tending to either being a parent, or being our own person. The feeling that it is necessary to choose one or the other? And knowing absolutely that we shouldn't have to.
And, of course, it is not just in the art world that the challenge of pursuing one's own goals is mightily compounded by virtue of being a woman and a mother. Lawyer, vet, architect. Teacher, dancer, chef. In this day and age of fabulous promise and change, I can only hope my girls grow up feeling they can be their best selves, and still be the best mom.
That they can be whoever they think they are.
More tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
tt
posted by Tara Thayer at
11:10 AM
6 Comments:
I missed that movie too--quite vexing! I definitely have my own feelings of maternal inadequacy.
It's a plague upon women. I've chosen to stay home with my babe (the freelance thing is proving too difficult to navigate with childcare issues looming large). And because of it, our family is experiencing very tough times. A choice? Yes. Okay? Absolutely not.
Wow, you hit it on the head, tara! My internal scale is forever tipping this way and that. Me time, kid time, family time? In what proportions should it be divided?
I am a much better parent when I am working and have that adult interaction. This causes me issues.
It is a fine balance for sure. Me, I wish I didn't have to work. But it's easy to say that since I am working. The grass is always greener!
sometimes i worry that i don't worry enough about this question...i've had jobs in which i traveled ever since sabin was born and sometimes i traveled quite a lot, but i always feel i'm a better mom in the time i spend with her for having been away. i think she feels that too.
i love how you put it...that we hope our children can be whoever they think they are.
great post and super cute pic!
So often it seems to come down to asking which makes me feel worse - being away from my kids or being stuck at home? Right now, being away is far worse, so I am (mostly) happy to be at home. But I worry about what that means for me, and what that means for Tessa.
The other day, when she was imagining being the ripe old age of eight, I asked if she'd being going to work every day by then. She looked perplexed, then said, "I won't go to work. I'm not a boy!"
Yikes!
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