My thoughts are starting to turn squarely in the direction of the holidays. It's hard not to look that way, I suppose, with the piles of catalogs and advertisements and shops that seem to think it's time, already.

Believe it or not (I don't know why you'd think one way or the other, actually) we have never sent out holiday cards with a family photo. Our wedding came and went, and nope. Then a new baby joined the family, and we had plenty of photo ops, but still, no. I remember saying to a friend, the year Anna was born, that if we hadn't sent them out this season, we probably never would. She agreed.

But I'm thinking I may change that, this year. We did take some good ones of all of the kids, in Maine.
So, in looking around for those in my photo folders, I took a trip down short-term memory lane. I found the photos from the previous year in Maine, and was struck by how much younger we all looked. Most notably the thirteen-year-olds, and...um...me. We've all aged quite a bit in the last year and a quarter.

I was also struck by how few pictures there are of me. Obviously, I'm behind the camera most of the time, but honestly, Tim takes a fair amount of photos, as well. And I usually delete any of me that aren't to my liking. Most of them fall into that category.

I think I need to work on that. Not only because I think my girls will want to have some record of their having a mother, in the future, and because I actually liked looking back at what I was wearing, how long (or short) my hair was. But because the girls certainly pick up my reluctance to be in front of the camera, my griping about my "chins", or my expression, or...well, you know. Don't you? Don't we all pick ourselves apart?

I would be horrified if I have unintentionally set an example of self-loathing to them. I tell them they are beautiful. I show them that they are loved and valued. I keep almost every photo of them, because I want to remember all of their moods and faces, not just the perfectly posed shot where they've gussied up, and are smiling for the camera.

But I'm thinking that maybe all of that only goes so far. What they really need is to see and hear and know that their mom loves them, and herself, too.

::

Well, that's what I've been thinking about this afternoon.

Oh, and that green teapot up there? Thrifted yesterday on our trip upstate. Nice, huh?

Hope you are having a great day. Thanks for reading.
tt