i'm sitting down here in the gallery another saturday, while tim slips back into daddy mode, as when i met him. only now, plus one. anna is the age the big girls were when we met. i think i mentioned that already, recently. but i keep thinking it, lately. that thought keeps creeping into my thoughts in the middle of thinking about something else entirely. i'm not sure if this is meaningful in any way, other than that my thoughts are pretty much all creeping up on each other all the time like that. they don't get a lot of shoulder room, my thoughts. lately.

when i'm down here in the gallery, i watch all the cars and people go by the window. the cars drive too fast, of that i'm sure. the people move much slower, but i like that i can recognize so many of them. i know a lot of folks in this town, apparently.

but then, there are numerous other cars and people i do not recognize, and i wonder about them; where do they all live, and what brought them here today, to tarrytown?

i'm listening to pandora; and i finally broke out the little space heater. my lunch was eaten long ago (mushroom soup and tea) but i do still have two clementines and some chocolate tucked away in my bag for the inevitable slump to come in a half hour or so.

tim called earlier looking for a bathing suit for anna. i didn't even ask. it's not my show up there, today.

today i'm down here in the gallery, and it is as if my life is on pause. i am not needed like i am needed all day long every day at home. and that needing me sometimes almost pulls me down under the waves, down back under the covers. but now, here, with just me and my thermos and the quiet, adorned walls and two little speakers playing only the songs i like, i feel suspended.

later on we will make pizzas, and i will hear about the day with too many voices talking at once, and respond to requests, both big and small.

tomorrow we will take a walk and i will carry anna part of the way and put her cold hands between mine and blow into them to warm them up. afterwards, we'll go home and i'll make brisket and noodles. our parents will join us for dinner, and then, eventually, tim and i will get up and start doing the dishes while they sit and talk, with the last mouthfuls of coffee in their cups. another week will end, another begin.

but today, i will sit here and wonder about the people i don't know who keep passing by the window, bent towards getting to the other end of the street.

enjoy the day, and keep warm. thanks for reading.
tt