Tuesday, December 22, 2009



oh, there is so much beauty around.
my daughters ask me a question,
and a little part of the hardness
that has crystallized inside
as i have grown into this older,
unfamiliar me
starts to melt,
because i am both
renewed by them,
and made even older
and more unfamiliar
still.
i hesitate to answer their question.
we are at the point
when the old answer
is not acceptable,
but the whole true
ugly, beautiful answer
is not yet acceptable,
either.
their eyes tell me at the same time:
we want the answer,
and
we don't.
so i straddle that line,
for one more year.
because i love them,
and because
i don't really want to say
the truthful answer
out loud.
but oh,
do i love them.
and oh,
are they beautiful.


the days get longer from here on in. thanks for reading.
tt

6 Comments:

Blogger Char said...

oh that line....i've reached it with my nephews. it's so unsettling.

December 22, 2009 10:24 AM  
Blogger RW said...

wishing you a very pleasant day.
I have a big to do list but instead I decided to start the day off making cinnamon buns.

I hear what you are saying.
the guardian part of parenting has got to be one of the most challenging things for me.

December 22, 2009 11:42 AM  
Blogger Just Jules said...

oh yes that line we are on it indeed. how can you have to start talking about girls and not talk about mystical beings yet? a fine place we are in for another year too.

December 22, 2009 1:02 PM  
Blogger Molly said...

oh so true. who knew becoming a mother would be so complex?

December 22, 2009 1:13 PM  
Blogger shari said...

thanks for sharing your thoughts here so openly and with such honesty and grace. just beautiful, tara. love these wintry images. xo ps: and yes! to the return of the light.

December 22, 2009 1:49 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

We are on the line too...and no one dares to cross it yet. Not sure if it's mom or boys having the most difficulty. I'm thinking it's me.

December 23, 2009 7:56 PM  

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