there is so much activity and noise downstairs right now-colored lights are being hung, rugs are being vacuumed (although this is a bit like shoveling snow before a blizzard), old sheets are being nail-gunned to the walls, music is blasting. and the party hasn't even started. it's looking a lot like a college dorm in my basement, and frankly, i'm sceptical.

whose idea was this kids' party, anyway? and how am i going to get tim to come across the street with me to the grown-ups party? seems like all eight of us are having too much fun just getting things ready over here.

::

i am sneaking up to the computer to say goodbye to 2009, and to wish you all a joyful night and a hopeful new year.

i think this past year for me was one of finding the new beginnings in endings, and noticing the beauty in things not obviously so.

i think this past year i grew up a lot, and maybe even found my inner kid a bit, too. learning something new has been challenging and energizing at the same time.

i think this past year i started to let go of a lot of things that i held onto out of fear and habit.

::

i was reading a story about a completely dysfunctional group of people, and the thought came to me that they just don't know how to be a family. and then i realized: we do. we know how to be a family.

i will take that one thought with me into the new year, and everything else will fall into place.

::

wishing you peace, health, and happiness in 2010. thanks for reading.
tt